My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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