I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
