I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
