and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
