finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
