Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
