I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
