Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
you have to choose: penises or morals?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
