Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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