So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
