YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
