Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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