You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
