I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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