That's intense
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Randomize
