Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
