Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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