I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
