He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize