She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
