Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
