Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
