There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
No subtext here. People are naked.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
