hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
