apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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