Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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