3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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