ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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