hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.Â
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
