Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
