Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
