Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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