Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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