Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
