I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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