Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
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