drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
