We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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