Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Why are your pants in the freezer?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
