I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
It's shark week go big or go home
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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