I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
