Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
