i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
