I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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