S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
