ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
