I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
