And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
