I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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