So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize