Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Randomize
