Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
be right there i have to get my cape
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
