So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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