the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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