found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
