Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
