Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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