For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
